Saturday, 8 June 2013

When I was young I often pondered on the seeming chasm that lay between the concrete finite essence of our existence and the overwhelming vastness of infinity.  Two worlds that never blend, like oil and water, the finite features of our world around us, beginning and end to everything we know, distances that can be travelled, destinations that can be reached.  Yet the essence of our existence seemed to hold much more.  Where did we come from and where do we go.  We all die, after all, can we really be created out of nothing, and cease to exist so abruptly thereafter?  And yet everything around us speaks of something larger.  Infinity laces mathematics throughout its discoveries yet it struggles to define it in a meaningful way, or at least we struggle with the intuitive internalisation of it.  And of course there is its counterpart, the tiny single point that is nothing at all.

I was reading the first pages of a Tao book yesterday, I did not know what Tao was, a concept, a religion?  As I began to read I was amazed to be reading a description of what I define as ‘the world’s life force’, that universal energy that flows through us all, nourishes us, and gives us life itself.  At times, when looking at the night sky it seems dark, powerful and mysterious.  At dawn it is magical –creation at arms reach, and in the crispy morning light it becomes subtle, giving way to the details of our unfolding day.  But always it is all encompassing.  As I kept reading a couple more pages I could feel my eyelids become heavy and fatigue start washing over me like low clouds that drift over mountains and fall down to the canyon -a waterfall of air.  At that point I felt a need to surrender to sleep, surrender to that thick soupy energy that flows through us all, and become one with life’s energy force as I give up my conscious identity for yet another night.​

And there it was.  Water and oil mixed and my two worlds were united.  I could see it so clearly, see the energy force that we feel so subtly if at all throughout our daily busy lives emerge and reclaim my body and mind, allowing my soul to reconnect and become one with its source, its mother, -returning home.

‘External Symbolism’
4/12/13
I have been noticing in the past months that external physical symbolism is occurring in parallel to my internal path. –This is new to me (at least at a conscious level).
When I was in search of my inner boon, inspired by Joseph Campbell’s ‘Heroes Journey’ I was presented with a gift of old gold coins. An inheritance I did not know existed that arrived unexpectedly.
When I finally received my Shamanic Bee Book, which was delayed and delayed for several reasons, for weeks on end, bees came to us from everywhere. The grounds were humming, starting from the yellow flowered bush near the letterbox. The humming went on for days. I had never experienced such a thing.
And a short while ago, when I felt life had taken us by storm as we were thrown into a time of aggressive change, I found myself noticing and pondering over this for a while. Then a tornado hit our home. In a place that has no history of tornadoes. Last night I dreamed of tornadoes, and I was running, escaping, trying to survive so many of them.

That was over 3 years ago.

Since those early events, many more had occurred.  Magnificent awe inspiring events. Sometimes miraculous, always accompanied by a deep sense of connection. I had come to term the whole phenomena ‘Symbolism’, as that described best for me this strange unexplained situation in which my own inner world was manifesting itself in this physical existence within which we live and breathe.

These events are always uplifting. At times they would be frequent, at others I might go for months without a single identified event. (Just because we are not paying attention doesn’t mean it isn’t happening… Although in truth, they are pretty hard to miss or ignore). I have tried to understand their meaning. How it works, why? I have not really come to any answer before today.

As I drew the yarrow stalks I found I did not take my time as I usually do. I pulled them out four by four without hesitation or delay.  ‘The detail does not matter’ was the repeated message. ‘The detail of this world is of no consequence. It is the spirit that drives it that matters and it is to this place that you must turn for guidance. This is the place that nourishes your soul and gives you life. It is a constant that underlies a world of change’.  The outcome of the reading provided an answer to my latest despair but it moved, inevitably, to Earth, all expanded and all encompassing, accepting of all beings and all phenomena.

As I started making lunch, marvelling at those lovely perfect eggs produced so generously by our backyard chickens, an answer presented itself to me: ‘When you come from a place of spirit the earth connects and yields to your inner soul.’