​Cosmic Smile

I was taken out of my body once, by what I can only describe as The Cosmic Smile.

As I was gently pulled out of my body, the green leaves I was looking at turned to grey as all colour of the physical world faded around me.  ‘Don’t take me away from all that I know and love’, was my instinctive, involuntary reaction, as I thought of my family, and nature surrounding me.  Immediately, I was let go, released to return to my ‘reality’.

As I walked away from my car, I felt immediate regret.  I had screwed up what was probably the most profound moment of my life, with petty fear.  ‘Don’t worry’, the loving smile was still with me.  You haven’t screwed up anything, I am here when you are ready.

I could see it everywhere, formless, infinite.  I couldn’t describe it as anything in this world we live in.  It wasn’t white, it had no colour, but if I must compare, maybe misty, like frosted glass.  (But really, none of that).  It wasn’t nothingness.  It was EVERYTHINGNESS.

Looking now at the horrors of my existence, I see the green around me, always beautiful, always.  And my children that I love.  All those I love and care for.  Those are the things worth anything at all.  Looking back, nothing from that moment has changed, in what truly matters to me, what truly resonates with me.
​
In a self-consuming world, plants are a living thing that does not need to consume other’s flesh to survive.  I am not saying there is no cruel competition.  I am saying they don’t HAVE TO, to survive and flourish in this world.  And my Bees, my Beautiful Bees.  They suck the nectar from the flowers, their survival enhancing that of the plants, not extinguishing it.  Again, there is cruelty within a hive.  But their survival does not depend on the killing of others, quite the contrary.  Still, even their time is limited.