Breath

I have seen too much death lately.  My heart is broken.

The part that is always repeated is the fight for breath, at the very end.  A struggle to hold onto our breath before our spirits finally departs our body.  Desperate gasping.  My experience is that release is peaceful, serene, wonderful.  But the moment before seems horrifying.  It must feel like drowning.

Our breath connects us to our body, and as it is, we are, here in this place.

My breath keeps going, my heart keeps beating.  I wake up every day to a self-consuming cruel and horrifying world.  I fall asleep every night, falling into blissful departure, but I keep waking every morning, returning to this place.

The daily pain now is unbearable.  When I wake my ‘reality’ welcomes me, with memories of days gone, predicting what lies ahead.  I breathe deeply through bruised pain, hoping it will heal me.  I call on my eternal being, a place past dreamworlds it’s home, to come and save me from this place in which I find myself.  What hope do I have?
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‘Bring your spirit to this world’, I am told, ‘and it will be as you are’.
I don’t want to change this world.  I just want to go home.